Last Thursday, I auditioned for the TV game show Trivial Pursuit: America Plays. It was just one of those things I saw on Craigslist. And I thought, what’s the point of being a freelance writer if you don’t take every opportunity to do random things that people with full-time jobs can’t do? So I did it.
I’d never been on a real studio lot before. It was exactly the way I imagined it to be. A lady guarding the entrance. Lots of trailers. The smell of fame and fortune. Some guy in the parking lot asked me for directions to the audition. But he was auditioning for Hannah Montana. Crazy. Hollywoodland is real.
Two kids in charge led my group of contestants in single-file lines all around the place. Major kindergarten flashback, and I wondered if they were making us do extra walking just for the power trip.
Then we had to take a written trivia test. I failed. The obnoxious girl sitting next to me in spandex pants passed. Oh the shame. Really, it was shocking. I never fail things that involve smarts. I would give excuses, but a confidentiality agreement keeps me from saying more.
But this show gives the best revenge. All the losers got to meet the producer and come up with game show questions. What’s a cheap way to avoid paying writers is also a way for me to win money. If annoying spandex girl gets my questions wrong, I win her money. Wha-ha-ha-ha!
I took this picture at my friend’s house in LA. She is living at the top of a Hollywood Hill. Yep, it’s the same hill I fell off. Every rose has its thorn and whatnot
Technical Photo Info: I think this photo looks like a painting of a place or a studio backdrop for a movie, which I guess is fitting for Hollywood. But, it’s real. And I just used my crappy small point-and-shoot. But I did put it on the night photography mode and rested it on a steady surface to accomodate the long exposure.
I’m writing this blog from the verified bowels of Hollywood. This is the place where dreams are made … and crushed.
Considering that my goal for the last two years has been to escape Arizona and find my fame and fortune in the City of Angels, I guess tonight’s post is quite monumental. However, this isn’t the big-time. My appearance in this state is more of an exploratory mission than a stab at self-actualization. But if my internal divining rod of fate can be trusted (it started quivering like crazy as soon as I crossed state lines), then my current true purpose in life (see the book The Alchemist for more details) seems to be located within LA county lines. But then again, divining rods have shown little success in finding water, so how can they be expected to find my future?
PS: Please excuse my lack of rhythic word flow. I’m writing this post at 3:27 a.m. and my brain function seems to be slightly impaired.
PS2: Before you judge me for my ungodly hours, please consider these two possible excuses: 1) I could be infected with the writer’s “Night Disease” as Michael Chabon so flatteringly describes it in Wonder Boys. 2) I’m in a new city and the novelty might be keeping my brain awake.