New Year, New Bars

Mericia & I at the "Friendly Bar" at Sahara Hotel & Casino

Contrary to what you may be thinking, this is not one of those cheesy New Years Resolution blog posts. As for resolutions, I haven’t gotten around to making any yet. Instead, I encourage you all to continue a vice in 2010. Vices have a much higher success rate than resolutions, thus promoting a higher self-esteem. I suggest that you choose the vice of “drinking in sundry Vegas bars.” If, for whatever reason, this vice is not available to you, then I suggest you do the next best thing and read my bar column.

My most recent bar adventure happened at a wonderful little nook in the otherwise down-trodden Sahara Hotel and Casino. Their main claim to fame is their Dollar Beer/Shot/Hot Dog menu and one really awesome bartender. This may not seem like much, but having been to many many Vegas bars, I tell you, it beats the hell out of novelty bars.

READ ALL ABOUT MY BARXPLOITS HERE!

It’s 3 Days Till Christmas. Do You Know Where Your Presents Are?

My Family's Ranch

I could conquer the world, if I could just get around to it. I hate that I procrastinate. This time, I procrastinated with Christmas gifts. I had this awesome plan to put together a book for my family about the family ranch. I would combine my grandfather’s short stories about the ranch with family photos and use one of those nifty and fairly priced websites to create a “professional” book. I came up with this idea at Thanksgiving.

The non-procrastinating family (courtesy o' Shutterfly)

And from Thanksgiving until today, I avoided it. I let it creep around in the back of my mind like a rat infestation. But I did nothing to fix the problem. This makes me a bad person and I know it.  (In my defense, I am trying to make a living writing & teaching & noveling, which takes up lots o time.)

Nonetheless, I valiantly tried to find a place that could make me a photo book by Christmas. This is America, damnit! The land of Capitalism and Opportunity. A mere photo book by Xmas should be more than possible. Let me give you my money! …Somebody? …Anybody? Is there anybody out there with a printer and a cash register?

After a day of searching, the answer is apparently not. So I changed strategies. Who needs the Internet to make a book, anyway? I could make one myself. Using paper. And thread. Or something.

A quick Internet search on “easy bookbinding” found the above instructional video. The dinky music and 5-year-old instructor fit both my situation and skill level. But the question is, will my family (any family?) appreciate a book bound by ribbon as a gift from an adult?

So the real question is this: Do I give a place holder gift and order the book now (Thus inviting derision but delivering superior quality)? Or do I try to hand bind 10 books with ribbon or some other YouTube concoction?

PS. The word count on my novel is 48,507. I need to get a move on that as well.

Christmas Comes to Vegas

Bellagio Christmas Conservatory Under Construction

I’ve always dreamed of finding some really cool and funny Las Vegas-themed Christmas cards. But until that day, I’ll have to make do with the Bellagio’s Christmas display in their Conservatory. According to Robin Leach, my colleague at Greenspun Media, the Christmas Display starts today. (Click Here to see his photo gallery.) But last week, I caught photos of it as a work in progress.

Bellagio Lobby at Christmas

Escaping Vegas Only to Find it Again

Cirque de Soleil's KOOZA in Santa Monica

The key to living in Las Vegas without losing your mind is to leave it often. I generally fail at this task, preferring to be swept away by a comforting womb of neon. But this past weekend, I escaped the Vegas madness for madness of a different kind. With my friend M. in tow, I drove all the way to the ocean last Friday. When that wasn’t far enough West, we got out of our cars and walked to the end of the Santa Monica pier. The sound of nature was disorienting. (Nature being ocean waves and seagulls). Even though I believe in my own personal Manifest Destiny, LA is a big, scary city. And without the comforting sound of slot machines, I was feeling uneasy. But then we saw something that made us feel right at home: the Cirque de Soleil big top. My relief was palpable and after the Cirque sighting, we had a fabulous trip.

Sometimes there’s culture in Vegas

Sometimes pigs fly and once a year there’s the Vegas Valley Book Festival. I bent over backwards to attend Friday’s event called the Sin City Sonneteer Spectacular hosted by local writer Jarret Keene.

Dayvid Figler, Mayor Oscar Goodman & Tuba

The event started with Mayor Oscar Goodman and local poet-lawyer Dayvid Figler reading haiku to tuba accompaniment. Somebody donated the haikus, and by now you should know better to look too closely at the donation bins in Las Vegas. What I mean is that all the poems were about strippers, hookers, drinking, neon and 900 numbers.

Ms. Las Vegas Holly Madison & Reporter Becky Bosshart

To make the poetry better, Jarrett was passing out cans of Schlitz from a magical hidden cooler. Also, Holly Madison showed up; I guess she loves poetry. My friend and reporter Becky Bosshart is a secret fan of Ms. Madison and thus the above photo was born. I wonder how many tourist photos of Ms. Madison include cans of Schlitz.

C. Moon Boarding the Sin City Sonneteer

Once the Mayor’s haiku was finished, all the cool, famous people disappeared and the local nerds (myself included!) got on the trolley and rode around Downtown Las Vegas taking periodic poetry stops

Sin City Sonneteer (aka Poetry Trolley)

For all you non-locals, Downtown Las Vegas should under no circumstances be confused with the Strip. Jarret our tour guide pointed out the bail bond places, not the grand casinos. And the hotels we did pass looked like the one below.

Creepy Downtown Hotel

But mainly it was a unique and wonderful community experience. What with all the communing with fellow lovers of the written and spoken word.

Atop the Poetry Trolley with Journalist Michael Mishak

All in all, it was one of the most artistic nights I’ve had in all my time in Vegas. Also, the idea of being driven around an art walk is super appealing for its sheer stupid luxury. Thank you, Nevada Arts Council!

Fallout Gallery as seen from the Poetry Trolley

That’s Not the Alcohol, You’re Really Seeing Mermaids

IMG_5911

Only in Vegas can you find a bar with real, live mermaids. And shark and stingrays and fish, lots of fish…

Read about my trip to Mermaids Lounge at the Silverton Lodge in the latest installment of my bar column for the Las Vegas Weekly.

And I took this photo from the bar. Huzzah!

More Adventures in Seedy Las Vegas Bars



Hey, who you calling seedy? That’s what the imaginary Davy of Davy’s Locker would say if he were a real human capable of reading blogs instead of a mythical pirate. In Las Vegas (as opposed to under the sea), Davy’s Locker refers to a spirited little dive bar. As an example of this spirit, note the halloween tree in the corner.

Read all about it in the latest edition of my bar column for the Las Vegas Weekly.

I O U 1 Novel

As you may have noticed my long absence from the blogosphere, things have been crazy for the last few months. But I’m back and better than ever. Friday night, I celebrated my return to the writing world with a trip to restaurant/club LAVO at the Palazzo Hotel & Casino.  On that very special day, I made my writing goal official by writing it on a cocktail napkin and taking a picture of it. In case you can’t read the napkin, it says that I will be finished with my novel in six months (April 2010)… or ELSE!IMG_5675

Random Vegas Food Photo: Top Secret Vegetable Plate

Bobby Flay's Top Secret Vegetables

Bobby Flay's Top Secret Vegetables

Right now I’m working on my next bar exam. But I’m having difficulties, so it’s time to procrastinate!

I bring you, Random Vegas Food Photo stolen from somebody’s plate whose dinner I crashed. The restaurant was Mesa Grill. The person was a vegan. I am not. Nonetheless, I was so jealous of his dish that I just had to take a picture.

Now back to my regularly scheduled writing assignment.

Happy Birthday to Me!

P8270030

The Ghost of Birthdays Past

Today is my birthday. Three years ago, I thought it would be fun to buy a ’50s prom dress from Goodwill, chop it up into something “hip” and don a tiara. Did I mention the birthday party with red cups and a special stirrer for the birthday girl? I can so no better way to bid farewell to youth.

But now I’m a grown up and seem to be waving to youth in the distance as it slowly backs away. The best way to celebrate? With the knowledge that this year didn’t see my novel completed, but next year will, damnit! Hoozah! Now go buy me something!

NOTE: With 10 minutes to spare before my birthday, I hit the 150-page mark on my novel!